Mullets, manbuns, and mustaches: 3 hairy messes to avoid.

Men are the hairier of the two sexes. They are also more prone than women to get into some hairy messes when it comes to hairy styling 🙂 Let’s take a look at three of the more egregious hairy offenses on what could potentially be a very long list. If you can’t see the wisdom in avoiding the following three faux pas, then I can’t help you. :/

(1) The Mullet

When most people think of the mullet, they think of the 1980s. The 1980s were a great decade which introduced the world to some amazing things like the compact disc and home PCs. Unfortunately, the exhaustive list of “Amazing Things from the 1980s” does not include mullets. At least my list doesn’t. And, if for some strange reason, you still don the mullet haircut, consider what the definition of “mullet head” is: a person of dubious intelligence.

In my opinion, there is but one acceptable occasion when a mullet haircut will do, and that is when the person is bald on top and grows a somewhat “distinguished-looking” mullet. in this scenario, the person would (believe it or not) be sporting a “skullet” not a “mullet.”

(2) The Mustache

I don’t know what it is about 2020, but I am witnessing a disturbing resurgence of men, ESPECIALLY COLLEGE AGE MEN, wearing mustaches. What’s up with everyone wanting to look like a creep? The only person who has permission to wear a mustache, in my opinion, is Alex Trebek. Everyone else, . . . stay away from the ‘stache entirely.

Here’s some logic to consider: If you’re already going through the trouble of shaving your cheeks and chin, why not just finish the deed and shave your upper lip? If facial hair is your mojo, then just go all the way and grow a beard.

(3) The manbun

Okay, so this might be a little culturally-sensitive, but it seems as if the western world decided to culturally-appropriate what the Asians have referred to as the “topknot” for centuries. A familiar use of the topknot can be seen on a typical Sumo wrestler.

For centuries, CENTURIES, the world had it figured out that the topknot was a style common to Asia. Then, something strange happened in about 2010: men in the western world decided to try the hairstyle and renamed it the “manbun.” Okay, call me old-fashioned, but if for some reason you decide the “manbun” is for you, then at least call it by its original, less-weird name: the “topknot.”

As a general rule, though . . . avoid the manbun/topknot. It’s too much of a stylistic risk. Just . . . avoid it.

Please.